alchemistchic

hell yeah!!

2006-02-17T12:49:14Z

hell yeah!!!! i love being wrong!! well the 'qualm' has been fixed and the problem i thought was gonna be the same as 'd' isnt, wohoo! yeah so fuck it i love j and Everything between us is fucking great..hehe..yay

crossroads

2006-02-15T18:50:32Z

well i made my decision..i went with my heart....(excuse me whilst i puke)...and now well...im happy but things are far from peachy...i quit my job cause being a verbal punchbag isnt exactly my idea of fun, so im still looking for one now. i love, so very much, j, but i have my 'qualms' over that and im thinking honestly its gonna take a while to see what happens with that as i feel that i might be seeing a re-occuring problem with what happened with d. but its a great feeling to feel so strongly for someone.

responsibilty

2006-01-15T19:49:37Z

i really cant spell...so as always life seems to come to a cross roads and your left wondering whether you will make the right decision, based on past decisions im just slightly worried but as one of my house mates put it, dont think ahead. good plan.

???

2005-11-13T02:55:53Z

so its been a month now..lets see whats happened? erm...not a lot! oh yeah i learned to walk on stilts so thats another useless trade i can add to my cv.

oh yeah and why, passing no judgements, do so many of the population smoke dope? i dont get it! again passing no judgements cause if you wanna do it then its your life and ive done it in my life but what? is it compulsory now? every house i move into everyones stoned? even the oldies are doin it! i feel like a fraggle!! (or that scientist mupet on the muppet show, you know the one that does nothing but squeek)...and if theyre not stoned then ppl are drunk and if theyre not drunk them ppl are doing lines off of mirrors! what the hell is goin on?!! hey heres a scary idea for you, just as a crazy experiment, now hear me out, what if...you went out and...nobody screwed them selves up?!! Woahoo!! crazy or what!! i mean can you image the carnage?!!!

alchemistchic @ 2005-07-08T22:59:00

2005-07-08T22:21:34Z

Pinched from weetobix

Seven things in your room:
1. bed
2. all the faffy girlie sturff
3. inscense
4. broke guitar
5. chair (with clothes on)
6. books
7. cd's/cd player

Top seven things you say most:
1. erm
2. what?!!
3. huh?
4. no!
5. im hungry
6. du gist jetz auf meine nerfen! (spelt wrong)
7. really!?

Seven Things You Can't Live Without:
1. metal..sad but true, keeps me from hurting ppl lol
2. bratwurst
3. phone
4. hugs...what?!! i have a weak side!!
5. veg
6. exercise and attempting to calm myself down
7. the knowing that it IS possible to move forward

SEVEN THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. tour germany
2. travel the world
3. develop some kind of compassion cause im really havin trouble with that around you mugs lol!
4. Learn german fluently
5. learn chi kung and be good at it
6. sounds girly and sad but bag that big guy some day
7. be in a movie about an insane asylem - oh come on you know it would be fun!!(oh and learn to spell)

SEVEN OTHER THINGS;
Do You Smoke? No only on weekends but is happening less and less
Do you do drugs? No but wont lie i have done
Read the newspaper? metro, every lunchtime, full of s**t
Pray? no but meditate when i can sit my hyper ass down
Have a Job? Yes
Attend Church? no
Wish on stars? No they're already dead, very sad.

Have you ever:
Gone skinny dipping? yeah when i was 15 lol oops
Had surgery? yep - yeah, on my neck! why??!
Swam in the dark? yeah
Been to a Bonfire? yeah
Ran away from home? yeah
Played strip poker? yeah
Pulled an all niter? too many

SEVEN THINGS IN LAST 24 HOURS; have you...
Cried? no
Sang? yes
Been kissed? no
Felt stupid? yes
Talked to an ex? yes
Missed someone? yes

hmm has this worked?

2005-06-13T11:51:18Z

Official Survivor
Congratulations! You scored 75%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

ah thats not as good as i wanted!!! though his legs are nice and brown lol

You scored higher than 40% on survivalpoints

Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on Ok Cupid

eh

2005-05-09T17:21:34Z

well things are slow, nothing more to put really, changed jobs, thats cool, am going back up to newcastle on my course(chi kung) every now and gain which is cool again, would really like to do more with the music but nothing seems to be happening so eh what can you do?

crazy girl!!

2005-04-03T15:31:41Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

please if everyone did this we'd all be something crazy or another! you cant win!!

i thought i was inncocent!!

2005-04-03T15:27:40Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

bizarre

2005-03-20T13:35:51Z

well arnt we strange little humans...emotional walking time bombs methinks!
sat here at work trying to not to get annoyed at each caller as, well, they're not doing anything wrong! but have this horrible energy inside of me that just wants to blow up at them..partly for calling such stupid mundane lines on a sunday and partly is purely my fault for getting so easily aggravated.

how do you control it??

the tinyest things annoys me...like the person calling, you going through the script and then the long pause until they finally loudly say "hello?" then you have to through it again..then they ignore what you've just said anyway and start with the line "right. what i want to know is...."
...or the caller who who is calling on behalf of someone else and that other person is sat next to them repeating the information...
...or ofcourse the people who shout down the phone at you, or those who ask the most complicated questions about the line and then get stupidly frustrated for a sunday at the fact that this is just a brochure request line...
...now the joke is on me because these are not complicated issues, they are not even stressful issues, infact they're not even a big deal, just a couple of callers...
...so why do they irrate me so much?? im sure they never used to, i dont remember them ever annoying me so why now?

maybe its the realization that here in the west we have got so much unnecessary junk clogging up our lives and its only now that im really starting to notice. i can see why people live in caves lol!

wow

2005-03-16T14:48:41Z

lifes fine. still in debt but tis cool, relations with people are good, health is good....lol i have nothing to complain about!!!! wow. been doing lots of meditation and chi kung again, got really intense the other night felt like i was on the ceiling...and there were no drugs used!...so yeah things are cool....just wish i could help rob more

ok cool

2005-03-03T12:47:07Z

ok, cool. things are finally on the rise. well as far as mental stability goes. aparentely bananas are good cause they make your brain happy lol!!

got home last night and went on a cleaning frenzy, then went on a guitar playin frenzy, then sorted all my paper work out...way too much lyrics..they really need sorting.

ppl keep comenting on the hair at work..ha ha.

sooo

2005-02-25T17:10:02Z

hmm at work, been on altbristol all day.. am bored..wanted to see dave tonight but am goin out tommorrow night instead which is cool but i have to now endure the suffering which is friday night not knowing what the hell to do..would love to go out and get drunk but know if i do, no good will come of it!! hmmmm

spent last night recording some stuff, dave seemed to like it which has made me really happy..rob says he doesnt wnat to be around me any more!..lol theres a pattern evolving here..aparentally i make him uncomfortable lol ahh, i do feel bad about it but theres nothin i can do so i'll have to get over it. if its for the best then cool, did feel sad at first though :(... i know i wont be like this for too much longer this is just the after effect of newcastle!

bloody valentines day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-02-15T03:13:09Z

soo it's valentines day, or it was, and as usual to follow suit so far this is by far the most screwed day of the year for me...and why...well...

no.1: valentines day: also known as happy hallmark day. happy clever marketing day. happy this day is great its been designed to excuse all other days when relationships should be working and reduced the effort to one fuckin day. one.

no.2: work: it was shite. it was...well work. it was too busy. it was monday. oh and the computers were taken up when i took my breaks.

no.3: band: i dont have one now. aparantely(spelt wrong) poor nick cant take it being around me as it feels just too uncomfortable, ahh, now this is coming from the man who said he could handle not going out with me but not me eventually meeting other men??!! also coming from the man who tried it on with my best friend whilst drunk then broke up with me for kissing a girl...well i guess this will give me a chance to concentrate on metal..rahh lol.

no.4: money: got a letter to say if i dont pay my debts by friday they're taking me to court...hmm nice!

oh yeah..health: aparently im stressing my body out so much it thinks its pregnant!! according to the doctor.

wheres love i hear you say?....who knows, ill let you know when i figure that one out. enough mental trauma with a nice man in my life but if love steps into it..well hell...just pull the plug!

he he cant you tell im in a good mood!

blahh

2005-02-13T10:04:58Z

dont know whats going on with mosiamo,i think im gonna get kicked out! we had a gig in wales, it went really well and the guy has booked us another two times but i do feel like i may be not performing that well due to the fact the my heart is really not in it...

...so we had a few mintues left on stage the other day and we started to improvise a bit of drum and bass it was so much fun but i think that trudy was intending for me to get down and give her the mic and i kind of didnt and stayed up, shouldve stepped down but i couldnt!
i was in the toilets after wards and this girl came over to me and asked if she could touch me??!! it was really sweet but really funny, wont lie though it was sooo nice to have someone come over and compliment my singing cause doing backing vocals you never get that and ive been so used to singin solo for a fews years that this is sometimes just odd.

so yeah things are cool..nick hates me though, ha ha, what the hell am i suppose to do?! nothing really...ive tried but f**k it you can only do so much...he broke up with me!

alchemistchic @ 2005-02-10T03:57:00

2005-02-10T15:50:52Z

(spelt wrong)haysee dixie....they were great, didnt think id enjoy it but had a great night!! the academy was packed, and dave and ant spent all night dancin like hillbillyies! lol, with newrocks on!! lol was great. we went to the elbow rooms after and ended up meetin the band and playing pool with them, was cool to chat with john, the lead singer as he could sympathise with the problems of crowd control lol..ahh who am i kiddin i had a moan.
met up with ryan and luke, which was cool to drink with those guys again..theyre sooo funny! dave beat everyone at pool encluding me! :-(....and he was truly bolloxed!!! not fair!

work sucks as usual..yeah you know it sucks when you find yourself using words like that!
got a gig tonuight in newport..oh the high life lol so for now, im in a good mood! :-D

ohh hooew hoo

2005-02-07T13:36:40Z

oww hooew hooew, spoke to nick last night he said he wanted to get back...w-t-f! very strange, very complicated! but not going down that road again, noo way, not very nice to see that hurt look in ppl so noooo way.

ho ho ho the ever changing life of jill

2005-02-03T12:59:05Z

ho ho ho the ever changing life of jill..hmm so where did i leave it...somewhere around conflicting feelings for someone and the wedding gig...ahh yes!
ok so i went to the gig, still off my face which flav found amusing watching me trying to apply lipstick when my hands were shaking to the point that i couldnt put the lid on hehe... it was a bloody disaster!
(But good things have come from it),
the mic was so quiet that no one aparently could hear me,
i felt sick all the way through,
then my friend came up to me at the end and said that because it was so faint that it sounded crap...hmmm..nice!
oh and then nick phoned and broke up with me cause i kissed emily friday night..
oh and i found out emilys age which i now think i'm gonna go and hang myself!
so yeah it was a great night! oh yeah i have to apologise to jowe and adam..sorry guys i was just soo drunk!...am very ashamed!
anyways good has came from this as it now leaves me single and as a result went out tuesday, we had a great night and a great morning lol...what?! when its good its good!
so yeah am in a much better mood..well apart from the fact that everyone is going to see rammstein and im ready to crack..i give in i do want to go and see them!

f**k beans

2005-01-26T16:45:31Z

F**k beabn f**k beans! ahh conflicting moments noooooo!
yeah so am having a boring day, at work although it's going very fast which is good, have band practice tonight, and tommorrow night. bit miffed at still being skint when theres so many good nights out coming up...note to self...get rich...fast.
am having doubts about the wedding gig..it's a wedding, the sworn place...i swor id never go to a wedding, get married or support anyone who chooses to!(in a cartman style paddy)

workin finally

2005-01-24T14:45:23Z

die at 71...i give it another 20 years at the most!
so i'm workin back at the call centre again..was funny walking around today bumping into everyone, acctually to be honest it was embarrassing! oh look she's lasted all of 2 months on her quest for independence lol! but all is good as money shall be flowing through soon..i hope!
had the photo shoot yesturday...was so funny. we all turned up late for a start with these poor ppl waiting, then they chose the place which was in an underpass in bedmo! charmed! it was bloody freezing and we were there for ages, the guy assisting the photographer had just had his b.day the night before and was so happy he had rum and coke in a bottle and was swigging that every 5 minutes and passing round continuous duby's..ha ha i love that word...duby..ha ha! but it was great, everything i would expect a photoshoot to be lol. who knows what theyre suppose to be like but it was an experience, oh and aparently the magazine the articles gonna be in is called 'porn' magazine...lol so this is where buddhism leads too lol

alchemistchic @ 2005-01-22T20:02:00

2005-01-22T20:02:32Z

kharma

2005-01-20T14:30:11Z

well everything is kharma. i asked for an over draft and i dont think i've got it. i'm completely out of money now and its totally my fault. five direct debits all coming out with nothing in the bank, they're gonna love me. what the hell has happened to me, my life seems to bounce from one day to the next...it's totally screwed up. This mood had better be the fault of my hormones or i'm in trouble.

wohoo!

2005-01-19T16:16:16Z

So friday me, nick, flav, charlotte (and i expect some others) are off to the bier keller, should be interesting as i know what nick and i are intending to do but poor old charlotte has to deal with her ex coming down to try to pull, or fall into another womans breasts lol, and i dont know how 'with it' we're gonna be to help her, well just gonna have to see what happens.
After having a freaky dream about racheals mum stabbing her i woke up in a suprisingly hyper mood lol...should that worry me?

MUSIC
Nicks off to see killswitch engage with flav tonight so he's really excited however i dont think trudy will be as she thinks flav's coming over to do keyboard tonight to help with the vocals...lol she's gonna be a!
The vocal practice went really well and we've only got 5 songs left to get through. Everythings sounding good. we've got two gigs coming up soon and im certain everything will be sounding great. nicks got a gig at battle of the bands which will be interesting as it's death metal and students...i wonder if they'll get scared he he!

Dave phoned today about getting his cd over to me at 6, if it's heavy it'll be great! i'll get to get some of this deep s**t out finally.

GENERAL
keiron thought he had another month left in the room and said he isnt gonna move out so friday should be interesting as i said flav could sleep in that room lol.
Sarah braided my hair and i look like a sheep lol...boardom you gotta love it!

hmm i should really leave the sofa soon

2005-01-17T17:00:55Z

So i was suppose to go job hunting today and havent managed that which is really bad cause i got back a week ago and havent found anything yet, infact i spend the remaining money i have at rammshackle on friday night lol oops.
Got band practice at 7, we've got to go over harmonies which is wiered cause it feels like something off of pop idol lol uurgghh.
this years resolutions have comepletely died, i said i wouldnt smoke but instead i've smoked twice as much cannabis lol, i said i would drink less and have but instead have decided to experiment with..eh hem...other sources of enjoyment.. mwah ha ha lol...all these years and so much money on huge amounts of drink..why...why someone tell me why!!!
The only one that stuck was gigging and thats been quite interesting so hopefully things will progress nicely with that.